Firstly, the language. My family's tongue is Hakka (a dialect of Chinese on Gong Gong's side), but they also speak Hokkien, Mandarin (they've learnt this to keep up with the times, given that being able to speak Mandarin in the modern world equals power), English (which is arguably the only uniting language of Malaysia), Bahasa Malay (the national language), and, to get by in restaurants and convenience stores, Cantonese (although that's only usually spoken by the kids in my generation).
So. I speak English. I know more words in Chinese than I give myself credit for, but obviously not fluently. They find it really funny when I mispronounce things (but prefer for me to attempt it and get it wrong then say nothing at all).
Language is culture, so to them, there is much for me to learn. Chinese culture is rich with tradition, deeply ingrained and practiced daily, passed from generation to generation. Value is placed on family. Family are Number One. Within that is the generational hierarchy (i.e. grandparents are top, eldest children are responsible for them, and the kids, blah blah blah). Nothing comes before that. Nothing. That means education, wealth, individual ambition. It's always so hard for Westerners to understand this. You will sacrifice everything for your parents, for your family's name, for your family's reputation. This is nothing new to me.
I feel like I am put in a really difficult position here, because some of my family don't understand why I have chosen to a) move away from home (and cities), b) study a craft that will not guarantee financial prosperity, and c) leave Mum living in the family home by herself. It's usually easy to justify that sort of thing in New Zealand, because it is a relatively Western model for family, and Mum and Dad brought us up to chase our ambition (education, career, travel). Here, faced with the firing squad of aunts, uncles, and cousins who don't see the value in living any other way, it's really testing. There are definitely two trains of thought- the progressive, younger generation, and the elders. Period. Add to the mix one part Chinese spirituality and ancestral worship vs. Christianity, two parts repressive and prejudice Malaysian government, and three parts society that blatantly discriminates against certain ethnic groups, and you have yourself some twisted as shit.
New Zealand is allegedly the land of the free. And, given my experience of being here, it totally is.
Here are some pictures of my beautiful parents the day they got engaged...
And on their wedding day, December 10th 1972...
And their honeymoon...
I am some strange alien they find foreign, endearing, and [very] white. And yet, because I am so familiar, they are inclusive, encouraging, and [very] playfull. My cheeks are still sore from the hours of laughing-till-crying moment from last nights family reunion.
Anyways, enough with the soul searching. Today I went to a crocodile farm and tried to pat a monkey, but realised that it might give me aids, even though it was tied up, so I flinched and it got scared and tried to steal my camera. Go figure.
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